The attention you want in the right way.(change of focus)

Why are we often tempted to dress immodestly? Well, for me, it’s when an outfit justΒ  looks so cute and makes me feel pretty that I think about compromising. But of course, this is no reason for dressing immodestly. We girls all want to be pretty. And deep down, we all want guys to notice that we exist. But we need to realize that if a guy does notice you, there are different ways he can notice you. Far too often, it is based on the wrong things. A guy notices a girl because she is pretty. There is nothing wrong with a guy thinking a girl is pretty, but we girls shouldn’t have getting physical attention as our focus. There is a song that I really like, and I talked about it on one of my other blogs but I thought it really dealt with modesty so I’m posting about it here too. KJ-52 has a song called For The Ladies. You’ll have to listen to the song if you haven’t heard it, but I’m going to share some of the lyrics.

Girl the only thing you gotta be doin is servin Christ
6 years ago I was blessed with a wife
She was sweet and lovely and beautiful and nice
But the one thing that just made her my type
Was the fact that Christ was #1 up in her life
So take my advice
Forget them Hollywood stars, and them Hollywood hair
And them Hollywood cars
Next time you thinkin’ that you ain’t up to par
Remember God made you beautiful just the way you are

The song is basically about girls not feeling adaquate and how they should because they are made by God. This is very important. When girls dress provocativly, they do it for attention because they think if they aren’t getting any attention, then they are worthless. But we NEED to remember, God made us. We are his daughters. In His sight we are beautiful even if we aren’t wearing the latest trendy(quite often immodest) clothing. But again, we girls can’t help wanting guys to notice us. That’s just how we are. And that’s the real reason I like KJ-52’s song. He says that the reason his wife is perfect for him is her love for God. He makes it clear that what he finds attractive about her is not what she looks like. It is who she really is. The person inside. If you want a guy to notice you, you want him to notice you for the RIGHT reasons. Not for you body, for that is not who you really are. If he likes you for you looks, he is not a guy you want noticing you. Because one day, your body will grow old, it wont be all that attractive anymore. But your spirit, the REAL you, will grow more and more beautiful as you mature in Christ. So that is what you want a guy to find attractive about you.

Am I saying that you should show off your ‘spiritualness’ to get a guy to notice you? Not at all. While you want a guy to notice you exist based on what is inside of you, you don’t want to use it as ‘bate’ any more than you want to use your body. Your focus should NOT be to get a guy to notice you. Your focus should be God and God alone. If your life is focused on God, He will provide for you every need. And when it comes time, he will bring the right guy into your life. A guy that God specially hand picked for you. And when you think about it, that is something really worth waiting for. If you are out looking to get a guy, you will most likely end up with not the greatest one. But God, knowing everything, can do a much better job of finding the one for you.

I know this is something you have heard before and you will hear it again most likely, but it can’t be stressed enough. Modesty isΒ  not about clothing. Modesty is about your heart. If your goal is to wait on God and let Him be the author of your love life, then you will have no reason to want to dress immodestly. For your clothing follows your heart. Chance the focus of your heart and your dressing habits will surly follow.

In Christ,

Mel

Advertisements
Published in: on March 25, 2009 at 12:28 AM  Comments (3)  

Jewelry

Yes, so, I’m finally getting to this post, like I’m been promising my friend Haley for a week or two now. πŸ˜›

So, is jewelry wrong or okay? Can there be an excess? Are there times when jewelry is probably immodest? I’ll try to answer all of this in this post.

Personally: I think that jewelry is okay. Some people would think: “Oh no! Of course jewelry is absolutely horrible! Of course jewelry is a sin!” Yes, there are several places in the Bible where it shows women wearing jewelry, and it is bad. But also, in those places, it is saying that women wore them in excess to draw attention to themselves, or it was used in a sexual way.

So, from a branch of excess: I think there are times when there is excess jewelry. Have you ever seen people who have the gigantic earrings that you’re afraid you’ll run into even if you’re 10 ft. away? Or have you seen the women who have rings on every finger (and might even have some on their toes?)? Yes, I think that is excess. That is simply to draw attention to oneself. It is nothing else. Sorry, don’t mean to offend anyone, but it’s true.

Okay, so, I haven’t said much *positively* about jewelry. Well, I do think that you can wear jewelry without drawing too much attention yourself. I have lots and lots and lots of necklaces and bracelets. Although, I think that I shouldn’t wear too many at once. My mom has given me a tip before that I try to follow. Now, I don’t have my ears pierced, but this is part of it too.
She gave me the advice to wear no more than two things combined. Like wear earrings and a necklace or earrings and bracelet or necklace and a bracelet, etc.
I think this is a good idea, so it doesn’t look like you’re wearing excess jewelry, or trying to draw too much attention to yourself.

But I also think that even things like necklaces and earrings can be bad, if you use them in certain ways. For instance, if you were to wear a necklace that made a V, with a shirt that came down kinda low, or was a V-neck… that is probably not the best idea. And large earrings? Even though these may not be immodest, they usually just kinda… knocks the look of femininity off a girl. As for rings, I think these are fine too. The only way it makes someone look not feminine if there is a ring on every finger.
Oh, and what about anklets? These, I think are fine. Basically what I’ve heard from every guy is since they’re on the ankle, it doesn’t really matter.

So, to wrap this up: I think that jewelry is completely fine, if worn in moderation and not worn in a way to draw attention to places we shouldn’t draw attention to. Like my example with the necklace.

Did that make any sense at all? πŸ˜›
Well thanks for reading!!

In Christ alone,
~Madison

Published in: on February 21, 2009 at 8:33 AM  Comments (5)  

Formal Gowns

Okay, this is my first post on here so I’m a little nervous. Which is maybe kinda weird but I just don’t want to do anything wrong on Madison’s blog. For those that don’t know me, I’m Melody. And I’ll warn you, I can be long winded, so long drawn out posts are probably what you’ll get from me. I am working on getting shorter but they are still usually long. Before I actually say anything about modesty, I just want to thank Maddie for inviting me to co-author this blog. I’m really excited about it(even if a little nervous). πŸ˜€ Okay, now I’ll get to modesty.

Something that I’ve been thinking about recently(thus the thing I am going to talk about) is formal wear. I’m most likely going to a summer camp this year and at the camp there is a formal thing. So I have to find a dress to wear. And I often hear people say that it’s not possible to find modest formal gowns. You have to just live with immodest. But I disagree. There is always a way to find, or make something modest. Now, I’m not really all that good a sewing so making something is sorta not an option. So I have to stick with finding something.

Now if you are at all familiar with formal wear, you know that for the most part, what you can find is halter strap, or totally strapless. And I’m sorry if you like that kind of thing, but it isn’t modest!!! I have to say, I don’t have a clue what is attractive about shoulders, but apparently there is something, so they are a stumbling block for our brothers in Christ. So we really need to stop even considering things that are strapless, or halter strap, to be an option. The other thing I’ve noticed is, often they like to put long slits on formal gowns. A lot of them go basically all the way up the leg. Maddie already did a post on slits so I wont say much about it, just that it’s not modest.

Those are really the biggest things I have found immodest about formal gowns. But that is a BIG problem because it seems like EVERY single one has one or the other. But not really. There are modest dresses out there. They are just really really hard to find. Esther and I were looking at pictures of them on different modesty sites and I wish I had saved the links so I could show you some. Perhaps I will go back and try to find them again and make another post later.

But for now I’ll proceed without them. The main thing I’m trying to say in this post is that we Christians need to not compromise. It may be a lot harder to find modest formal wear than it is to find casual, but that is no excuse. We have to draw the line and not cross it for anything. We can be beautiful without showing tons of flesh. So persevere when shopping and don’t give up just because you are tired. In the say way that we don’t want guys to give up when they are tired of doing the eye-bounce, we should not give up in being modest.

Okay, I really hope that post made some sense. Please comment and let me know. If it was totally incoherent, just say so.

~Melody

Published in: on February 4, 2009 at 8:30 PM  Comments (4)  

New Authors!! :D

This is the new, exciting thing I was talking about on my main blog. πŸ™‚ I now have two new users!! I’m sooo unbelievably excited!! These two girls are some of my best online friends. We’ve gotten pretty close in the short time we’ve known each other. We have the same views on pretty much everything, so I am very, very excited to introduce:

Melody and Esther. πŸ™‚

These two girls are sisters. They’re very intelligent, and really great girls. I’m so excited about them being authors now!

I really hope you enjoy their posts! They’re wonderful writers, and I’m sure that you’ll enjoy their posts.

Thanks, Mel and Esther for doing this! I’m so excited about this! πŸ™‚

In Christ,
~Madison

Published in: on February 4, 2009 at 1:15 AM  Leave a Comment  

Slits in Skirts – Part 1

*GASP* Can you believe it? πŸ˜› After a little over 2 months, I’m finally doing another post on here! πŸ˜€

This is my opinion on slits in skirts:

Often, at church or some such place where people wear skirts, when I see a slit in a skirt that is 3-5 inches or higher, even on a long skirt, I tend to think it looks immodest. It just seems to me, that when a guy sees a girl go by with a really high slit, it just kind of… leaves them to their imagination. It just seems to me, that if you’re going to have a slit that high, why not just go get a skirt that comes up that high? That, to me, would seem more modest than if you have a slit going up that high. I dunno, that is just my opinion. πŸ˜‰ What does everyone else think?

Now, I am not judging people that wear slits in skirts. Don’t get that idea at all! Because I have, before, had skirts that had slits in them. In fact, if I went to the store, and found a skirt I liked that had a little bit of slit in it, I would be fine with it. I’m just saying that more often than not, slits come up way too high. If you wouldn’t wear a skirt as high as a slit comes up, then why have a slit come up that high? It’s the same thing.

Now, probably every single one of you who gets on this site has seen the Modesty Survey by the Harris’ before. I’ll leave you with a few comments that guys left on this survey. If you would like the link, click here.
“Not all slits are bad. But if you care about modesty, be very careful with them. The longer they are, the worse they are, regardless of length.”
“As long as the slit is below the knee.”
“Slits suggest to you that you can take a peek at something you are not really allowed to see.”
“It greatly depends on the height of the slit. Anything below the knee is generally fine.”
“Slits are a tease. The garment pretends to cover, then reveals. Even if the body part being revealed is not otherwise immodest (for instance, the lower leg), the fact that it is being revealed through a slit can get a guy’s mind going the wrong direction.”

I found that most of the comments from these men were that any slit below the knee was fine. So, that is what I think we should go by, especially since it is the majority of guys that find it is okay below the knee.

This is only part 1. I am on a forum, and we have a long discussion on modesty. I have asked some of the guys who get on the thread about what they think on slits. So I’ll post their responses in my next post on slits.

In Christ,
~Madison

Published in: on January 25, 2009 at 5:54 PM  Comments (6)  

Dress = Respect?

Oh my goodness! I’m SO sorry girls! I have just left this blog to rot… I’m so sorry!

But for today, this is my post: does dress = respect? I think in a way it does, but let us speak of dress, and our heart.
First, you may be wondering: What is this post about anyway? It is about whether guys will respect us according to the way we dress and act, or no.
I believe that they do. Let me give my reasons: guys are naturally protective of women. It’s just a fact. Face it. πŸ™‚ But, the thing is, is so many girls and women just act and look like guys. And so what happens? The guys treat the girl/woman like a guy! It just happens. If a girl acts like a guy, then a man will just treat her like a guy.
But the interesting thing is, is I have heard much that girls who dress and act like young ladies are much more respected by young men.
For this, I would like to use a quote from So Much More. This is a lady talking about how she was taking on a challenge to dress in only dresses/skirts for a week, and see what happened. This is some of what she said:

“Another thing I noticed was positive public reaction. I experienced numerous acts of chivalry and respect when I went out in public. When we were out and about, my daughter and I, more times than not, had doors opened for us by men. One man tipped his hat to us and said, “Good Day, Ma’am.” We had young men at the grocery store answer with, “Yes, Ma’am” and “No, Ma’am” and help us lift heavy loads. These were not rare acts, but the respect and chivalrous actions noticeably increased, and I believe that our attention to feminine dress was what spurred these comments and actions from strangers.”

Wouldn’t you have to agree? Feminine dress and actions WILL change the way men treat us.

And all of this leads to: Men are supposed to act like that, and women are supposed to accept these actions. But these actions never happen because women say they want to act like men.

So: Would you rather be treated like ‘one of the guys’ or a young lady worthy of respect.

Also, as one day this week, a young man was, er, let’s just say paying attention to me, I could tell he was trying to let me be ‘one of the guys.’ In this case, what do we do? Well, I would suggest just acting like you’re not interested. Continue to act like a young lady worthy of respect. Personally, I am just going to continue acting like a young lady, and see what happens. But if this ever happens to you, that’s what I suggest. But do not ever act like one of the guys. It destroys your reputation of being a young lady!

Well, I hope that you enjoyed this post! I just wanted to share all of that with you!

In Christ alone,
~Madison

Published in: on November 23, 2008 at 11:34 PM  Comments (6)  

Yes, this is the right place

Yes, you have the right place. πŸ™‚

Don’t worry, THIS IS ME. I changed everything to WordPress. So don’t worry. How ya like it? I’m not sure if I like it… But oh well. I’ll try to make it more prettiful. πŸ™‚

Well, comment on how you like it!

Published in: on October 6, 2008 at 10:44 PM  Comments (4)  

How to tell if something is modest, and BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

Okay, first for the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT. I’m going to move this blog to WordPress. If I can, I’ll keep the same web address. I’ll leave this up for a couple of weeks (if I can stand it πŸ˜› ), and then I’ll switch it. I might not be able to wait and so it could change in a few days. But please note that when you see something different, you’re still on the same blog. πŸ™‚

I thought this would be a fun, informative post. This is just the way I, personally, can tell if something is modest.

Shirts: These are the hardest to tell if they are modest. Bend over… is your shirt bending over with you? Put your hands on your hips… See anything through those arm holes? Raise your arms… can you see half of your stomach? Is it too loose or tight? If any of these you say yes, then they should probably go out.

Shorts: This is only if you think shorts are modest. The best way to tell is to put your arms very rigidly by your side. If the shorts come up higher than where your pinkies are, then they’re too short.

Skirts: The best way to tell – Sit down, cross your legs… can your mom see up your skirt? OUT.

Dresses: Do the same thing as you would with shirts and skirts.

Bathing suits: This is a rather touchy subject. Bikinis are out. Tankinis are usually out, unless they have shorts or a skirt. Then that is probably the best choice. But with just a bottom, no. I have been feeling lately that even my one piece bathing suit is probably too immodest. Like I’ve read before, it’s like a girl wearing underwear. And it really is. The best choice is probably shorts and a top. Just my opinion… also, skirts might work too. Although they tend to balloon up in the pool.

So, I hoped this help! Be sure to comment and tell me what you think. πŸ™‚

In Christ,
Madison

Published in: on October 1, 2008 at 1:05 AM  Comments (7)  

Surely it is alright to wear men’s clothes…

I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m afraid it isn’t alright. You may be thinking, “Yeah right, I don’t believe you. I think it is perfectly fine to wear men’s clothes.” Well, I have a few reasons for thinking what I do.
First of all, think: is it really that feminine to wear men’s clothes? Or even clothes that are somewhat styled like men’s? I don’t think so. What would you do if you started seeing men wearing skirts or pants with embroidery on them? I don’t know about you, but I would be jumping out of my skin and knocking down racks in the store. (speaking of which, no offense to those who adore the Jonas Brothers, but I think what they wear looks, er, rather GIRLISH in my mind)
Also, technically, you could take this ‘wearing of men’s clothes’ all the way back to feminism. Because that is what it is, isn’t it? Women want to be so much like men, that they start dressing like them too. And Christians tend to follow trends, and so they follow feminism. Are you with me?
Next, if you have any men’s clothes, ask yourself this, “Why do I have these in the first place?” Answer honestly, and don’t beat around the bush. Perhaps because it is ‘following the trends.’ Possibly it is because you want to feel as ‘strong’ as a guy. Whatever the reason, it probably isn’t that good.
Finally, the Bible says women should not wear men’s clothes. Deuteronomy 22:5 says: “A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the Lord your God detests anyone who does this.”
So the next time you are tempted to wear something that is men’s clothing, or looks like it, I would say not to buy/wear it.
Thoughts, anyone?

In Christ,
Madison

Published in: on September 9, 2008 at 12:45 PM  Comments (13)  

Poll Results

Wow! I haven’t been on here in a while… I’m so sorry.
And to the girls who commented on what they wanted me to type about, I’ll really try to get to that soon!
But I was going to say what the poll results were. On the challenge, I asked everyone if they did it. Two people said they did it and loved it, two said that they already wore skirts all the time. Two said they were planning on doing it, and two said they weren’t planning on doing it.
I also had a poll on your favorite length of skirts. Six said just above the knee, six said just below the knee, and seven said ankle length.
Make sure to comment and tell what you voted on both polls!

In Christ,
Madison

Published in: on September 6, 2008 at 3:04 PM  Comments (2)